Mommy Dearest
by kehwie
Summary: On a day filled with too many memories, Vala visits Daniel to escape her ghosts. Trouble ensues, as it often does with them. Written for the 2012 Fruitcake Exchange on LiveJournal.


He never should have let her into the apartment.

He knew it as soon as he opened the door; letting her in would be trouble. Letting her in was _always _trouble. His wallet, his reputation, or his sanity always suffered for it—sometimes all three. Judging from the desperate look in her eyes, this would be an "all three" sort of visit.

But it was that very desperation that made it impossible for him to turn her away.

Daniel nodded to the base driver, who exhaled in relief and turned to head back to the mountain. Daniel grimaced; if Vala had already exasperated the driver, it definitely didn't bode well for him. Great.

He ushered Vala into the living room. "All right, what's up?"

She smiled, that overly bright, false smile that he hated. A real Vala smile could rival the sun of several planets. He would do just about anything for that smile. This fake one only served to twist his gut or raise his ire. "Vala. Talk to me. What's wrong?"

Her smile dropped at his words. She gave up the pretense and sank down on the couch, curling up into a ball as though she could retreat inside herself. She probably could if he let her. But he didn't intend to let her. He sat beside her and looked at her expectantly.

She drew a deep breath. "I just...I needed to get away for awhile, okay? I promise I won't stay long, Daniel, and I _swear _I won't cause you any trouble this time." She rocked back and forth slightly. "I just don't want to be at the base right now."

He regarded her thoughtfully. He could pry, which might make her angry enough to let something slip. It had worked well enough in the past. But there was something fragile in her expression that he'd never seen before. Going against every instinct, he decided to let her be for awhile. "Okay. You want some ice cream? I have cookies 'n' cream..."

Her face lit up, and this time it was genuine. "Can I have it in a cone?" she asked hopefully.

Daniel rolled his eyes, but the truth was he had started keeping both her favorite ice cream flavors and cones on hand on account of these visits. She came when she was lonely, she came when she was bored...he'd finally just accepted it. It was easier to have the stuff already and not have her wheedle him into a trip to the store. _That _never went well. The manager at his corner market still scowled every time Daniel came in the door.

He returned a few minutes later and handed her a cone topped with a generous amount of ice cream. He sat down with his own small bowl. "Wanna watch a movie?" he offered, trying to ignore how seductively Vala could eat an ice cream cone.

She paused mid-lick to ponder his question. "Actually...just some music would be nice."

Daniel pursed his lips. Something was definitely up. Vala was always willing to watch a movie. She practically studied them. The urge to force her to talk grew stronger.

To force himself not to grill her, he busied himself finding a CD. He finally selected a soundtrack from one of her favorite musicals. He personally couldn't stand it—too many inaccuracies—but it was another thing he'd ended up having because of her frequent visits.

Vala finished her cone and pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs. She smiled slightly as she recognized "Maria" from _The Sound of Music._ She knew how hard Daniel was trying, and she couldn't help but feel touched by it. He really was a good friend.

However, his being a good friend and caring so much was going to cause him to start pumping her for answers soon. She decided to head him off at the bend—no, that wasn't right. Someone drove you around the bend. Head him off at the fork? No, the fork was what you took in the road—although why  
silverware would ever be in the road mystified her, and she certainly wouldn't want to take it if she found it there. Whatever. She needed to distract him. Thankfully, the song lyrics provided her with the perfect opportunity.

_She'd outpester any pest  
Drive a hornet from its nest  
She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl  
She is gentle! She is wild!  
She's a riddle! She's a child!  
She's a headache! She's an angel!  
She's a girl! _

"Daniel, what is a whirling dervish?" she inquired.

Daniel chuckled, thinking how well those words fit not only Maria von Trapp but also Vala herself. The thought niggled at the back of his mind that Vala was just trying to launch him into lecture mode so that he would leave her alone, but realizing that didn't mean he could resist the temptation. He obligingly began to talk about the Mevlevi Order of the Sufi founded in what was now modern-day Turkey. He even found a few online articles and videos for her to peruse.

And even though she had only asked as a way to keep him off her case, Vala found the information fascinating. The haunted look in her eyes faded as she moved from site to site. Daniel smiled to himself. She reminded him of a child, soaking up knowledge like a sponge. Her curiosity was insatiable.

When she finally felt like she had at least a rudimentary grasp of the religious order, Vala handed Daniel his laptop back. "Thank you, Daniel. You can take me back to the base now if you like."

Daniel eyed her for a moment. "And if I say no?"

Out came the flirtatious smirk she so frequently employed. "Oooh, do you have other plans for me tonight, darling?"

He rolled his eyes. "Cut it out. That's not what I meant, and you know it."

She pouted. "Well, you can't blame a girl for trying. All right, so why don't you want to go back yet? I figured you'd be relieved to get me out of your hair. I haven't even caused you any trouble this time!"

"Yes, and as much as I appreciate that, it worries me," he retorted. "Look, Vala, I don't want to take you back until I'm sure you're really okay."

Crossing her arms, she sat back against the couch with a huff. "My saying that I'm okay isn't good enough for you?"

"Do you really want an honest answer to that?"

She looked away. "No, I guess not," she murmured. Her expression turned pleading. "Please, Daniel, I really don't want to talk about it. I know you can make me, and you know you can make me, but please just don't, okay?"

He studied her face, kicking himself mentally for bringing back a bit of that desperate look. Still, he couldn't let it go. He didn't want to let her return to base to wallow in whatever it was. Maybe if he provided something else to distract her, like he inadvertently had with the whirling dervishes, he could get her to relax enough to open up.

"Okay, how about this? I'll take you to that new club you've been wanting to go to. You can dance and do karaoke, and I'll even buy you a couple of drinks. Sound good?"

She flung herself at him. "That sounds _wonderful_, darling. Just what I need tonight. Thank you."

_Stupid, stupid, stupid_, he castigated himself later. Here he'd had a trouble-free Vala visit—the first one ever—and what did he do? Ruin the whole thing himself!

He really should have known better. What in all the galaxies had possessed him to take her to a club? How had he ever thought that was a good idea?

Leaving the police station, he glared at her briefly. Damn woman. How'd she manage to wreak havoc everywhere she went anyway?

She began talking, the words tumbling from her mouth far too quickly. That rapid-fire speech had always been her only side effect from alcohol. "I'm sorry, Daniel, it wasn't my fault, I _swear—"_

"Don't make me laugh," he retorted. He had to hold on to his anger; it was the only defense he had against her when she was in this vulnerable state. But looking at her trembling mouth, he knew it was a lost cause. He sighed wearily. "What happened, anyway? I never really got a straight answer from the arresting officer."

Vala lowered her gaze. "Oh, Daniel, it's a long story, I'm not sure you really want to hear—"

"Vala, I just picked you up from jail, and I'm going to be the one smoothing things over with General Landry. Believe me, I _want_ the whole story."

She winced. "He's never going to let me off base again, is he?"

"That remains to be seen," Daniel said. "Now. Talk."

Vala sighed. "All right. I danced a couple of times with this guy named Michael. He seemed perfectly nice. He bought me a few drinks. He was impressed when I beat all of his friends at pool. And he really liked my karaoke performance."

The whole place had liked Vala's karaoke performance, Daniel remembered. Vala's smoky voice and suggestive movements put Peggy Lee to shame. Her rendition of "Fever" had given a fever to every straight male in the audience and quite a few females as well.

"And I didn't mind him flirting with me at first, even when he started getting a bit more handsy than I wanted," Vala continued. "He seemed kind of sweet and bumbling, you know? I didn't think it was a big deal; I could take him.

"But he managed to get me into this dark corner, and suddenly he stopped being sweet or bumbling. So I punched him in the face and kneed him in the groin and left him there." She shrugged. "Then his stupid friends decided to defend him, and all Netu broke loose."

Daniel frowned. "Wait, so why were you arrested then? You were just defending yourself. You did nothing wrong."

"Well, the officers who showed up when the brawl started didn't know that," Vala pointed out. "Michael and his idiot pals stuck together and made it sound like I got drunk and started something. So the cops took us all to the station. I was officially bookended or whatever, but there was a sweet Officer Shanahan at the station who told me he was sure nothing would come of it."

_Good ole Pete,_ Daniel thought. He would take care of anything that needed to be done on the police end of things. Even though it hadn't worked out with Sam, Pete maintained a good relationship with members of the Stargate program. One less problem for Daniel to worry about.

They reached Daniel's car and climbed in. To Vala's surprise, Daniel didn't drive to the mountain; he instead headed back to his apartment. "Daniel, what are you doing? Aren't you going to take me back to base?"

"Not tonight," Daniel said wearily. "Honestly, Vala, I don't want to go anywhere near the mountain right now. We'll face all of that tomorrow. Let's just get a good night's sleep first, okay?"

"Okay," Vala agreed. She hesitated, then added, "I'm sorry, Daniel. I know I said I wouldn't cause trouble this time. I didn't mean to break my promise."

"It's all right," Daniel said wearily. "It wasn't your fault anyway." He glanced at her. "Just tell me this: was it worth it? I mean, did all of this help you with...whatever?"

Her head fell forward and a curtain of hair covered her face. "Somewhat," she answered, her words slightly muffled. "It was good distraction, I guess. Today was just...hard."

"You wanna tell me why?" he asked quietly. Maybe after the disaster that the club had been, Vala would be willing to open up.

She stayed silent for so long that Daniel thought his question was going to be ignored. But finally he heard her reply. "On my home planet, today would have been a holiday...somewhat equivalent to your Mother's Day. I just...I'm sorry, it just got to me."

Daniel's stomach dropped. Of course it had gotten to her. He had pieced enough together to know that Vala had lost her mother at young age, just as he had lost his. And she had never gotten a chance to be a real mother to Adria. "I'm sorry, Vala. Tell me about your mother?"

There was another long pause, then in the quietest voice he'd ever heard her use Vala asked, "Which one?"

He was confused for a moment, then a flash of memory hit him. He was standing on the Ori ship and Vala was telling him about the Orici.

_"She wanted me to give her a name," Vala had said._

_"And?" Daniel asked. _

_"Adria. Told her it was my mother's."_

_"Not?" he queried. _

_"Stepmother. Witch of a woman," had been Vala's response. _

And Daniel had said something flippant about how the more he got to know her, the more he understood. Now he wondered if he had ever understood anything about her at all.

"Tell me about both of them," he told her now, realizing her feelings for her "wicked stepmother" must be just as conflicted as those for her daughter.

"My mother was very beautiful, a kind and gracious woman," Vala said softly. "Jacek said once that the best con he ever pulled was getting her to look twice at someone like him. He knew he didn't deserve her. She was smart too. And funny."

Daniel smiled. "Well, you did say you had gotten all your good qualities from her," he teased gently. "So far I'd agree with that."

That brought a small smile to her face. "Yeah, well, I missed out on a few as well. Mother was always willing to see the good in people. She forgave Jacek again and again. And she would have starved to death before she conned someone out of their food. Somehow I was never willing to do that."

Daniel eyed her, but decided not to comment. He was glad he'd held his tongue when Vala continued talking. "She seemed weak to me, always taking Jacek back, never fighting for her own rights. It took me a long time to realize she had a different kind of strength. By the time I realized that, though, she was already gone. She died when I was seven. Jacek brought Adria home when I was nine."

"What was she like?" Daniel probed, realizing he should no longer assume anything about Vala's stepmother.

"She was a...strong woman," Vala said carefully. "She needed Jacek, needed the protection of being married to him even if he was rarely around, but she wouldn't take any of his crap. He never could con her like he did Mother. She saw right through him; she saw through _everyone. _Mother had been from money, but Adria had to fight for everything she had. She was fierce and determined." Vala fell silent again, then admitted, "She tried to hide me, when Qetesh came. She tried to protect me. Of course, it didn't work, and the First Prime found me and brought me before Qetesh. And she chose me for her host. After the blending, Adria was the first one she—I—killed. I still have nightmares about that, honestly."

"Why did you call her a 'witch of a woman' when you told me about her the first time?" Daniel couldn't resist asking.

Vala sighed. "We did fight all the time when I was a girl. Like I said, she was a strong-willed woman used to doing battle to get her own way. I was a strong-willed kid used to conniving to get my own way. Plus, I saw her as trying to replace my mother. We butted heads constantly—drove Jacek wonko. We had reached a kind of wary respect for each other by the time Qetesh came, but we _never_ got along."

Vala stared at her hands. "But...I did—do—love her. It felt wrong as a kid to do so—as if I was betraying my mother. I think l still feel guilty for it."

"And that's the real reason you named Adria after her," Daniel surmised softly. "Not because she was an evil witch and Adria was an evil being, but because they were both people you loved even though you felt like you shouldn't."

She looked up, her eyes wide and fearful and teary at his spot-on assessment. But she nodded jerkily in agreement.

By now, they were back at Daniel's apartment. He let them inside. Once he had shut the door behind them he turned to face Vala. "Listen to me," he said quietly. "You have no reason to feel guilty about Adria—either Adria. It's completely understandable why you loved them both. And it's perfectly all right to miss your mother—mothers. It's all right to grieve. It's all right to mourn the fact that you didn't get to be a mother with Adria. Don't feel like you have to hide it, okay? I'm here."

To illustrate his point, he opened his arms. After a moment's hesitation, Vala flung herself into them. He hugged her fiercely, trying to let her know in a physical way that he was here for her. That he cared about her.

That he loved her.

He had known that Vala held some sort of power over him. Tonight he was willing to admit just what that power was. On some level, he'd suspected all along. But he'd never wanted to admit it, too afraid that she would laugh and mock and move on to her next conquest.

Maybe she would and maybe she wouldn't. At the moment, it didn't matter. He just wanted to help her carry this burden that had weighed her down for far too long. She carried too much guilt and grief—something he could easily recognize, since his own had been his constant companion for so long. She had been part of his own healing process—a battering ram smashing through all of his carefully constructed walls. The least he could do was return the favor.

Daniel lifted Vala's chin and studied her face for a moment. Now he could see a different sort of fear in her eyes—the same one he felt swirling in his gut. The vulnerability that begged to know, _Is this real? Can I trust it?_ He decided to help her trust him by trusting her first.

He kissed her, slowly gently, carefully. Careful never lasted long with Vala though. Suddenly she was wrapped around him, her mouth ravaging him, pushing him back toward the couch.

The logical part of his brain said this was moving too fast, that there were still things they needed to discuss. But for once, another, louder voice drowned out his reason: _Hell with it. How can years of waiting be moving too fast?_

They fell against the sofa in a flurry of heated kisses, fumbling hands, and flying buttons.

The ringing of his cell phone roused Daniel from a deep, contented slumber. Scowling and muttering under his breath, he groped for the offensive object. He finally managed to grab it and hit the talk button. "Yeah?"

"Jackson, where the hell is Vala?" Mitchell's voice barked. "She never came back to base last night, her driver says she was in a bad way when he left her, and Pete Shanahan had some sort of report for General Landry about some barroom brawl. What the hell is going on?"

And of course Vala picked that moment to wander in the room, wearing one of Daniel's button-up shirts and nothing else. "Darling, have you by any chance seen my panties? I can't find them."

There was a long, weighty pause, then Mitchell spoke again. "Never mind, Jackson. I do not even want to know. Just get yourself and Princess back to base ASAP—_with_ her undies, mind you!" The call ended abruptly.

"Daniel? My panties?" Vala straddled Daniel's lap. "Unless you want to skip work and play nooky today."

Daniel snorted with laughter at Vala's unintentional pun. Or maybe it was intentional—who the hell knew with her? Nothing would surprise him at this point. "No playing _hooky_ today, but perhaps we can arrange _nooky_ later. For now, we need to go calm down Landry and Mitchell."

"I need my panties to do that," Vala said almost primly. Daniel snorted again, but managed to produce the errant clothing item from the depths of couch. "Here you go. The lost has been found."

"Thank you." Vala kissed his cheek and moved to go get dressed, but Daniel caught her.

"Just so we're clear...last night wasn't a one-off. It wasn't pity, it wasn't a fluke, and I regret absolutely nothing. Got it?"

And that radiant, real Vala smile that he loved lit her face as she beamed at him. "Got it. Well, mostly, anyway. Actually I'm a pretty slow learner. Maybe you could remind me again later..."


End file.
